Dreams of Perpetual War

So many people clamoring for war today, excited to exact revenge in blood and bone. Which is precisely what they wish of us. They want us angry, banging the drums of hate, and looking for a someone yank up by the neck and to pay for these crimes. It justifies their current cause, it strengthens the illusion that they’ve created that the world is at war with them, therefore their cause is holy, justified, and necessary. No matter how horrifying those actions might be. Be not confused, these aren’t people intending to install chaos, they want world domination.

They did what they did in Paris intentionally, knowing that it would spark fear, hatred, and anger. They knew it would hasten and strengthen the anti-islamic sentiment growing globally. They also knew that those same people will likely target the refugees who also were forced to flee in terror, or face death. I’m seeing evidence of this in some of your news feeds today, Facebook and Twitter.

Meanwhile, ISIS/ISIL is literally holding daily mass executions in their captured territories. Hundreds of men, women, and children daily. The women and children not killed, are married off to the ISIS members. Often as young as 8 years old. The boys are taken as sex slaves, thanks to a generous interpretation of the Quran, which makes it not homosexual and not sex-out-of-marriage, This all happens. Daily.

But everybody involved is brown, so we should just have another red Venti cup of no fucks given?

Be angry, but be informed about what you are angry about. Blind hatred is stupidity. Rage towards a race will lead to genocide. Clamoring for blood amongst politicians only serves those politicians and will continue to give us perpetual and unending war.

Indeed all our thoughts are with France, let’s hope that this war on civilization will come to and end with intelligent, thoughtful and purposeful action, and be done so swiftly.

If not war then what?

Precise and exact takedowns and strikes to dismantle their power and organization. We begin with the leadership, monetary and arms sources, and branch out until they are all gone. Conventional war will not work. We know who these people are. We’ve known who these people are for four to five generations now.  Will we allow another ridiculous cat-and-mouse game play out for 12 years as with Bin Laden?  Pretending that we did not know where, or how to find him, while using his specter to instantiate a perpetual war machine? Sound familiar?

This is why the upcoming election is vital. Wall Street is making plans. The massive gears of finance are cranking up again.  Do any of us wish to see another Bush family get another chance in the middle east?

Or, Hillary for that matter?

Pay attention. Listen well…

News Briefs – Naked Schadenfreude

Mountains of Mouthiness – I’m crying laughing at this.

Texas Governor Orders Guard to Monitor US Military Exercises – “Hi, I’m athe paranoid delusional that you elected governor! Don’t question me!”

True schadenfreude is delicious

Somebody had a better idea than latitude and longitude or street addresses for communicating location to other people – Not.

Anti-gay rights republican turns out to be gay – I think there needs to be a “Wide Stance Republicans” party

Check out the PBS documentary, Last Days in Vietnam –  For a short time, PBS is streaming the film, here’s the site for more 

Classic films summarized by someone who has never seen them – Kind of great, in a not-so-great way.

The Avengers ’78! – Is kind of great in a super great way.

Nina Simone documentary with never-before seen material coming to Netflix

This ridiculous gym startup is trying to teach members how to pick up women – Bro

Two women are chased through a shopping mall by a cannibal. 1983.

How Safe Are Artificial Sweeteners, Really?

The naked corn paradox – Seth Godin

What happens when you give up sugar?

Microsoft can guess your age from a pictureFairly well, I might add.

1997 Hunter S. Thompson –  On internet journalism, “Well, I don’t know. There is a line somewhere between democratizing journalism and every man a journalist. You can’t really believe what you read in the papers anyway, but there is at least some spectrum of reliability. Maybe it’s becoming like the TV talk shows or the tabloids where anything’s acceptable as long as it’s interesting.”

Hey, Yall gotta cigarette? (Trap Remix) – Is a small bit of awesome.

Mad Max Fury Road – final trailer – Kind of resembles a fever dream that I once had.

Are You My Mother?

motherFor the past several days, my father and I, have been busy looking for my mother. To put it mildly, It has been a comedy of errors. To put it roughly, it has been a circuitous rat race of epic and ridiculous proportion. Every single pathway we’ve attempted to explore has led us to a dead end. Many, many dead ends. The ends are so dead and so numerous, I’m beginning to wonder if she ever did exist.

I sometimes joke when asked about my parents, “Oh, we know who the father is, but it’s the mother we aren’t sure about… Could be anybody, I guess?” As we conduct this search, that joke is becoming either more funny, or less funny. I’m not entirely certain which at this point.

We’ve tried multiple iterations of her name. Which she’s had quite a few of them, not counting her birth name. She was adopted as an infant in approximately 1943. Since that time, she has had at least five name changes.

We’ve tried multiple addresses, at least 12 of them just in the last 10 years.  We’ve called all of the telephone numbers associated with her, any relatives we found, and any of their relatives as well.

Okay this shouldn’t be so hard.  All associates that she has had, are by marriage. I have no brothers, or sisters. She has no brothers, or sisters. My father has no brothers, or sisters. Both of my grandmothers had no brothers, or sisters. Simple yes?  No… not at all.  The lack of blood relatives has made this infuriating, yet fascinatingly difficult.

Of the many associates of previous marriages we tried, not one single person had a valid working telephone number.  I could understand a few, but every single number assigned and attributed to her, or an associate of hers? That’s over 20 people, with multiple numbers for some. It defies logic and reason.

But we did not stop at phone numbers. We tried her email addresses as well as her physical addresses, all of them in the past 20 years. Not one yields a person resembling my mother, her whereabouts, or any shred of evidence that she ever lived at all.

In the past 45 years, she’s had over 20 addresses. In the past 20 years, she’s moved from one end of the country to the other, more than once. In those 10 most recent years, she has moved among states and cities at least 5 times, stopping along the way from California to Arizona, to Michigan, Indiana, and Illinois. Keeping in mind, all of those addresses had relatives associated with them as well.

We got very, very close when we found a marriage license that named her and her last husband. There was a good deal of information about him and his family. We felt encouraged.

But, we also found his obituary. At least finding this sad notice, led us to more of his family members. But, again not one physical address, phone number, or email address was valid. Not valid for her, or any of the relatives of her husband. Of the eleven numbers we were able to find for his relatives, not a single phone number was valid and, or in service.

13YYEWait a second, this is just plain nuts…

I finally asked my father, “Did she ever really exist? Were the two of you spies, like Brangelina in ‘Mr.& Mrs. Smith?’ Because trying to find her has been like chasing a ghost.” I’m beginning to think she is a ghost. A ghost with so many names, phone numbers, physical addresses, and email addresses; the NSA itself couldn’t track her. Yet, there is not one shred of evidence of her on any form of social media?  I imagine it’s really not abnormal for a person over 70. However, it’s getting less likely as each day passes, that people over 70 would not belong to some form of social media.

This is not the first time this has happened. As I get close, she moves. If I find a husband, they divorce, or he dies.  If I find relatives that could lead to her, they aren’t the right people at all. I’ve done this in: 1988, 1997, 1999, 2002, 2005, 2013, and this year. In 1997, a private investigator friend tried to locate her but, had no luck.

My father thinks she is either an evasive, privacy hacking genius, or… (on second thought, I’ll omit the “or” part). Regardless, the chase has bemused and baffled him as well. After he found the obituary, he did sign the poor fellow’s guest book. Apparently after a “funeral service pending” activity that may, or may not have taken place, his relatives seem to have scattered back through the four winds to their mysterious places of origin.

I did manage to locate a possible relative on facebook. The only thing resembling a needle that we could find in the entire enormous and preposterous network of haystacks. Everything matched, their FB friends were relatives whose names we recognized from other records. Those friends ages, physical locations, and names matched as well with other searches and information we had.

It looked promising, so hesitantly, I sent them this pathetic note:

Hi xxxxxx, This may sound unusual, but i’m trying to find my birth mother. She left me with my grandmother when I was 5 and I’ve not seen her in 43 years. I’ve tried to find her, but it’s been difficult and she has proven to be rather elusive, to put it mildly. In doing some research, I was led to you.  Her name was Xxxx Xxxxx, then Xxxxx, then Paxton (who is my father), which later became Xxxx, and eventually became Xxxx. The records that I have show her as married to Xxxx X. Xxxx in 2006, but he died (sadly) last year, I’ve come to understand it’s possible that he was your father-in-law. I hope that I’m reaching the right person, please let me know if I’m incorrect. If I’m correct, please pass on my contact information to her. My name is Dean D Paxton, my email address is bla@bla.bla, I’m here on FB, of course, and my phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxx. Sorry to bother you if none of this lines up with, uh… reality, I guess. Best wishes, -Dean

The “X’s,” apparently, are protect a person that no one can find.

I scarcely understand my own logic at times. Small wonder that others have the same difficulty.

I suppose that the only thing I neglected, was to use an “@i-am-stalking-u.com” email address and to congratulate them, of course for inheriting a very large sum of money from a very important king in Nigeria. They have understandably, not replied as of the time of this writing.

keep-calm-because-i-m-stupid-2As all stories, there is still room for, “But wait! There’s more!” As it turns out, I do have some documents with her Social Security number. In fact, as a collector of things that are never to been seen or touched again, I may even have an original Social Security card for her.

Now I’m dumbstruck, I do have those things?  I’ve been searching for her, on a off, for years. While I’ve complained and lamented quite loudly that I didn’t have her Social Security Number?

I did all of that.  Yes. Antonia doesn’t miss anything. I miss most of the things.

So the next steps are to locate the SSN and try to find her using some of the locator websites. Feel free to contact me if you’d like to have a list of the sites and databases that I’ve used.

If I do find a match that is concrete, after as much validation and verification as I can exercise, I’ll write a letter to her last known physical address. I’ll include some proof for her to determine that I am indeed who I say that I am.

I really want to allow her to “opt out” of contacting me. I would understand if it were entirely too simple and easy to remain a ghost. She has a lot to take in, should she decide to connect with our entire family.  I assumed that letter writing, or contacting her through an associate (or relative-in-law) would allow her to simply “opt out.”

Stay tuned. I’ll return with an update to this saga as soon as is possible.


News Briefs – Stacked Up For Days

Baltimore’s dual identity explains unrest – So many parallels to Flint.

How Nepal’s earthquake was mapped in 48 hours – 2,182 digital volunteers, trawling 14,700 km2 worth of high resolution satellite imagery, identifying 3,128 damaged buildings.

Public Opinion Shifts in Favor of Gay Marriage – Among Republican ranks, those under 50 are mostly in favor.

An Anti-Creativity Checklist for 2015 – I think I’ve seen almost every most of these.

The brains behind the ‘Aha!’ moment – Something that has fascinated me my entire life. There are regular “Ah-ha” moments, they happen all the time. Then there are revelations, less common, but they should happen a few times in several years. Then there is the unicorn of enlightenment, “The Epiphany.” Which we’re lucky if we have one. Ever.

The Deadpan Genius of Buster Keaton – They had me at “The.”  I love it when the internets “discover” old things.

Smartphone Etiquette: When To Send Handwritten vs Digital Notes – I know of only a very few people who have the grace to write notes any longer.  They know who they are.

Nobody Famous anil dash on being famous while being not famous – I’ve had “not fame” flirt with me once or, twice. I understand this quite a bit.  Though, he’s been an “A-list” internets person for many years, I am fond of him :)

Dooce is done? Another old-school blogger goes back inside…  to write for themselves.

As Riots Follow Freddie Gray’s Death in Baltimore, Calls for Calm Ring Hollow – I’m playing “catch up” on this story. I’m trying not to drink the facebook Kool-Aid, but my first thought is “F— the police.”  I’m not wrong.

Miss Piggy to receive feminist award, which should end all debate on the subject

Your Password is Too Damn Short

This video reminds us that assholes will always be a renewable resource

Game of Fear: The Story Behind GamerGate – In case you missed this.

Tuna Company Charged Over Worker Cooked Alive With 6 Tons of Fish – Speechless. No pun available here.

State of emergency enacted in Baltimore; curfew starts – Most recent story on Baltimore.

News Briefs – The links keep on coming…

Jon Stewart: why I quit The Daily Show – I really don’t care for Jon Stewart, there are those that do, more the better for ya

Meet the New Wave of Chinese Designers – Assimilation will be total. I, for one, welcome our new fashion overlords.

Trapped Into Selling Magazines Door-to-Door – I’ve wondered for decades if this was some sort of scam and how it was engineered.

China home to largest Buddhist settlement in the world – 40,000 Buddhist monks and nuns. They can’t have TV, but they can have iPhones…

Scientists Target New Painkillers From Spider Venom – Not opiates…

E.U. vows to boost migrant search-and-rescue efforts and Why Libya is springboard for migrant exodus – BBC News – This will become a very large humanitarian issue, it already is.

FDA Ponders Putting Homeopathy To A Tougher Test – Finally, the FDA may start testing homeopathic medicines.

Please read this epic obituary of Vivian Nicholson – The “Spend, spend, spend” lady was an epic person, who had an amazing life, and owes nothing to anyone, least of all an explanation.

The First Apple Homepage (via Waxy.org: Links Miniblog) – I remember when it looked like this. Of course, there wasn’t anything anyone wanted to see, but they where there!

The new spam: interactive robo-calls from the cloud as cheap as e-mail – Prepare your anus, er… I meant blocked caller lists.

Marvelous DB – A User-Friendly Website Filled With Information About Almost Any Marvel Character and Comic Book.

News Briefs

Republicans push for a permanent aristocracy

A.A. Sponsor Turns in Evans Woman for Underage Party. This story keeps getting better as you read it: Attorney for Evans Party Mom Releases Statement

Candy Crush Saga: Man tears tendon in thumb from playing mobile game too much

If you are an Android user, go to Google.com type in “find my phone.” You may have to log in to be verified, but it’s a very new(ish) cool thing.

David Hasselhoff performs the Kung Fury theme

The Age of Hubble a (2015) Documentary about Space – [50:01] – An army of high-tech telescopes, led by Hubble in space, has delivered an unprecedented chain of discoveries about how galaxies took shape, how stars live and die, and how life arose. What are we learning about the universe and ourselves in this Age of Hubble?

(So, every few days, I like to put links to things that I read, see, or that you’ve linked in your world. I hope you enjoy, I’ll try to keep them going)


Archive of Recorded Poetry and Literature

The Library of Congress has launched an archive of Recorded Poetry and Literature

Listen to audio-recorded readings of former Consultants in Poetry Elizabeth Bishop, Gwendolyn Brooks and Robert Frost; Nobel Laureates Mario Vargas Llosa and Czeslaw Milosz, and renowned writers such as Ray Bradbury, Margaret Atwood, and Kurt Vonnegut read from their work at the Library of Congress.

The Archive of Recorded Poetry and Literature at the Library of Congress dates back to 1943, when Allen Tate was Consultant in Poetry. It contains nearly two thousand recordings—of poets and prose writers participating in literary events at the Library’s Capitol Hill campus as well as sessions at the Library’s Recording Laboratory.

Most of these recordings are captured on magnetic tape reels, and only accessible at the Library itself. In digitizing the archive and presenting it online, the Library hopes to greatly broaden its use and value. The material featured on this online presentation represents a sample of this collection. The site will continue to provide additional items from this archive on a monthly basis over the next several years.

Dean in the Raw

This is me of late.

Not at my best, not feeling my best, but trying my best. I’ll post something more suitable later.

Either this is candid, or it’s TMI…  Antonia knows how to reach into a person and extract their essence with a camera.